| Achievements | How to unlock | Points
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| - Buy your first Upgrade from the Upgrade Store.
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- And Boom Goes the Dynamite
| - Complete all instances of Heli Assault.
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| - Defeat fifteen enemies at Technically Legal using only melee attacks.
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| - Hijack fifty vehicles - Dukes style.
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| - Complete all City Takeover gameplay in the entire city of Steelport.
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| - Cause $150,000 worth of damage in a single Sexy Kitten Yarngasm combo.
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| - Complete all missions for Gangstas in Space.
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| - Kill all of the rooftop mascots (in a single instance of Sad Panda Skyblazing).
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| - Roast fifty peds with the car's flamethrower (in a single instance of Super Ethical PR Opportunity).
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| - Fully upgrade one Weapon in each slot.
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| - Complete 'When Good Heists...'.
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| - Perform all vehicle stunts with the Aegean.
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| - Complete all instances of Snatch.
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| - Kill all of the hitman Assassination targets.
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| - Spray twenty five rabid fans with the Swarmitron.
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| - Throw five mascots into the water (in a single instance of Apocalypse Genki).
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| - Complete all instances of Mayhem.
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| - Destroy all enemy spacecraft during the chase scene.
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| - Fly through all of the rings (in a single instance of Sad Panda Skyblazing).
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| - Destroy all Gang Operations in Steelport.
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| - Complete Act 3 in another way.
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| - Explore every hood in Steelport.
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| - Play for at least two hours as a male character and two hours as a female character.
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| - Complete all activity instances in Genki Bowl VII.
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| - Destroy five chase vehicles (in a single instance of Super Ethical PR Opportunity).
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| - Find 25% of all Collectibles.
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| - Complete all instances of Guardian Angel.
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| - Complete all City Takeover gameplay in the Stanfield district.
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| - Complete all City Takeover gameplay in the Downtown district.
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| - Kill thousand Gang Members.
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| - Complete all instances of Professor Genki's Super Ethical Reality Climax.
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| - Steal and deliver all Vehicle Theft targets.
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| - You parachuted in on the second take and stuck the landing.
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| - Complete 'http://deckers.die'.
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| - Complete Act 1 in another way.
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| - Find 100% of all Collectibles.
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| - Collect all six hidden clapboards.
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| - Taunt AND/OR Compliment fifty gang members.
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| - Complete all City Takeover gameplay in the New Colvin district.
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| - Finish both instances of Apocalypse Genki.
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| - Complete 'Murderbrawl XXXI'.
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| - Complete all missions for "The Trouble With Clones...".
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- Once Bitten... Braaaaaaains
| - Complete 'Zombie Attack'.
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| - Complete all instances of Insurance Fraud.
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| - Do your first nutshot AND testicle assault.
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| - Kill thirty five Space Amazons with the Laser Pistol.
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| - Upgrade one Stronghold to its full glory.
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| - Complete all instances of Trail Blazing.
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| - Destroy fourty five Police and Swat Vehicles while protecting Jimmy's car.
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| - Destroy ten enemy spacecraft with the Aegean while filming.
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| - Kill a Brute using only melee damage while under the influence of Saints Flow.
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| - Complete your first Challenge.
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| - Kill twenty five Gang Members each with 'the Penetrator' AND the Fart in a Jar.
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| - Land on Magarac Island (in Sad Panda Skyblazing).
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| - Destroy five Steelport Guard vehicles during mission 'Tour de Farce'.
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| - Destroy a mouse ATV during Sexy Kitten Yarngasm.
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| - Shoot down a helicopter with a Saints Flow fireball.
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| - Complete all instances of Tank Mayhem.
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| - Prevent Johnny Tag from taking damage on the Magarac Bridge.
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| - Complete 'I'm Free - Free Falling'.
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| - Spend over thirty hours in Steelport.
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| - Complete Act 3 in one way.
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| - Complete mission 'Tour de Farce'.
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| - Complete Act 1 in one way.
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| - Complete all instances of Trafficking.
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| - Kill seven Space Amazons with melee attacks.
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| - Complete 'We've Only Just Begun'.
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| - Complete mission 'Weird Science'.
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| - Complete all City Takeover gameplay in the Carver Island district.
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- Your Backseat Smells Funny
| - Complete all instances of Escort.
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