The full text of the fast scrolling disclaimer at the start of the game reads:

Remember, the Bizarnian People's Glorious Free Food and Drug Administration requires all holders of level two hall passes to register their recreational animals on or before April 15, 2039. All persecutors will be violated by order of the All Knowing State Commission for the Willful Suspension of Disbelief and Disbelief Systems, in accordance with order FF-666, section 12, paragraph 7, line 33, of Bob's Big Blue Book of Ordinances, Volume 2, Revision 7.1.06. All employees, family members of employees, or any person or persons possessing knowledge of anyone concealing the whereabouts of any employee, or indentured lay person, or their various alter egos, along with their families and members of Channel Zero Productions are strictly Uninhibited. If you need additional time to lie for any embarrassing period or periods of prolonged silence, you will be allowed an automatic six year extension to the standard contract issued in your name by those other guys in the dark suits as provided for in Bob's New Big Blue Book of Ordinances, Volume 7, Revision 8.12.63. Also remember that state and local taxis are not occluded and that all forms of spiritual and economic management or similar methods of torture are not permitted by the trilateral commission in the quad-sector region. All life leases are subject to immediate suspension pending investigation by lesser gods and immortality is strictly prohibited under the bylaws of the current fifteen year plan. Exposure to certain neckwear, flashing lights, or bad grammar on a television screen or while playing video games may induce fits of remorse in a very small percentage of individuals. Certain conditions may induce previously undetected symptoms of conscience even in persons who have no history of moral values. If you, or anyone in your family has a lingering episode of ennui, consult your theologian prior to praying. If you experience any of the following symptoms while playing a video game-- dizziness, altered vision, eye or muscle twitches, loss of awareness, disorientation, any involuntary movement, or convulsions-- IMMEDIATELY increase use and insult your physician. Finally, the Bizarnian People's Glorious Free Food and Drug Administration requires all holders of level two hall passes to register their recreational animals on or before April 15, 2039. All persecutors will be violated by order of the All Knowing State Commission for the Willful Suspension of Disbelief and Disbelief Systems, in accordance with order FF-666, section 12, paragraph 7, line 33, of Bob's Big Blue Book of Ordinances, Volume 2, Revision 7.1.06. All employees, family members of employees, or any person or persons possessing knowledge of anyone concealing the whereabouts of any employee, or indentured lay person, or their various alter egos, along with their families and members of Channel Zero Productions are strictly Uninhibited. If you need additional time to lie for any embarrassing period or periods of prolonged silence, you will be allowed an automatic six year extension to the standard contract issued in your name by those other guys in the dark suits as provided for in Bob's New Big Blue Book of Ordinances, Volume 7, Revision 8.12.63. Also remember that state and local taxis are not occluded and that all forms of spiritual and economic management or similar methods of torture are not permitted by the trilateral commission in the quad-sector region. All life leases are subject to immediate suspension pending investigation by lesser gods and immortality is strictly prohibited under the bylaws of the current fifteen year plan.