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Punfound
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1
You're fat that's hippo critical.
2
A salt with a deadly weapon.
3
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
4
A boiled egg in the morning is really hard to beat.
5
The frustrated magician pulled out his hare.
6
Those fish really are quite shy -- they must be coy.
7
Just in case.
8
I forgot how to throw a boomerang. But then it came back to me.
9
Peter was so drunk, he picked a fight with a mop. He wiped the floor with him.
10
Renewable energy? I'm a big fan.
11
A vegetarian girl said she recognized me, but I had never met herbivore.
12
The roundest knight in all the land sir circumference.
13
Chilly pepper.
14
Unicorn.
15
Never trust an atom they make up everything.
16
Melon -collie.
17
What did the triangle say to the circle. You're so pointless.
18
No matter how hard you push the envelope it'll always be stationary.
19
I have the necessary koala -fictions.
20
Hey ho looks like a fungi.
21
Armchair.
22
I don't want to taco bout it.
23
Expecting a well thought-out pun? Frayed knot.
24
Tag you're it hashtag.
25
Calm down you're over reacting.
26
I lost an electron are you positive.
27
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
28
Becoming a vegetarian can be huge missed steak.
29
Eh you're not welcome here preju- dice.
30
Elevator.
31
I shot the serif.
32
They make a good pear.
33
You're a cute angle.
34
Spearmint.
35
How do you organize space party you planet.
36
Knowing sign language can be quite handy.
37
Once you've seen a shopping centre you've seen the mall.
38
a chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
39
Why are you wearing glasses? I lost my contacts.
40
Calm down guys we don't want any treble.
41
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity it's impossible to put down.
42
This scarecrow is outstanding in his field.
43
Attempted murder.
44
Christopher Walken, christopher sitting.
45
Peter spent all night wondering where the sun went. but then it dawned on him.
46
What do you call a fake noodle an impasta.
47
You loo boo – tiful tonight.
48
Hey what's wrong. I just feel empty inside.
49
I tried to catch some fog today I mist.
50
I used to be addicted to soap. but i'm clean now.
51
A moon rock tastes better than an earth rock because it's meteor.
52
A piano fell down a mineshaft and made a-flat minor.
53
Wanna hear pun about pizza? Never mind it's too cheesy.
54
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger then it hit me.
55
Writing with a broken pencil is pointless.
56
Oh the hue -manatee.
57
Stop you are under a rest.
58
Weapons of math destruction.
59
Sorry I'm latte.
60
This bicycle can no longer stand it's two tired.
61
That's one smart phone.
62
I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed.
63
He doesn't take up mushroom.
64
You go on ahead I follow on foot.
65
I started a business selling yachts in my house sails are going through the roof.
66
Plateaus, the highest form of flattery.
67
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
68
My book just hit me I only have my shelf to blame.
69
Icy trouble ahead.
70
Join the math club, there's safety in numbers.
71
The cross-eyed teacher had trouble controlling his pupils.
72
You shouldn't take sides in a fight between friends.
73
Peter tried to write a drinking song. he couldn't get past the first few bars.
74
Did you wet the bed again? Urine trouble.
75
Wanna hear a pun? This otter be good.
76
The man drinking battery acid will soon be charged.
77
The midget fortuneteller escaped prison. she was a small medium at large.
78
Wisdom tooth.
79
Math puns are the first sine of madness.
80
Butter fly.
81
These pun really quack me up.
82
Eggplant.
83
Put it out. water you waiting for.
84
Oh no not an udder one.
85
Lemon aid.
86
King of spades.
87
Ice tee.
88
Two silk worms had a race they ended up in a tie.
89
I threatened him and said mark my word.
90
What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner. a cold shoulder.
91
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
92
Peter hadn't the faintest idea as to why he passed out.
93
I have a hard time controlling my mood swings.
94
The great wall of chinaware.
95
Goldfish.
96
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
97
If you don't pay your exorcist you could get re – possessed.
98
Does this uniform make me look fat insecurity guard.
99
Math test today? Use this for good measure.
100
Light beer.
101
Mugshot.
102
Pinky swear.
103
Navy seal.
104
An investi-gator.
105
Sofa so good.
106
Square root.
107
Fire drill.
108
3.14 percent of all sailors are pi rates.
109
School cancelled due to blackout the students are delighted.
110
The confederate army ate using civil-ware.
111
Boxing ring.
112
When my laptop is idle jesus shows up he's my screen saviour.
113
Toucan play at this game.
114
You look better yeah I got my appendix removed.
115
Cartoonist found dead details are sketchy.
116
Sleeping pill.
117
Peter was hit in the head with a can of soda luckily for him it was a soft drink.
118
Straw berries.
119
Jokes about german sausages are the wurst.
120
This dinosaur has one impressive vocabulary he must be a thesaurus.
121
Trying to eat a clock is very time consuming.
122
Well shall we take the kayak oar canoe?
123
Octopi.
124
Did you hear the one about the guy who lost his left arm? He's all right now.
125
The mermaid attended math class wearing algae bra.
126
I was struggling to figure out how lightning works but then it struck me.
127
Censor ship.
128
I got fired.
129
Seasons greetings.
130
Can't we just get oolong?
131
Got the marks back for my electrician's exam the result were shocking.
132
My friends bakery burned down overnight her business is toast.
133
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
134
A clown just held the door open for me it was a nice jester.
135
Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana.
136
Man murdered in parking garage that is wrong on so many levels.
137
Read the novel about small gardens? There isn't much of a plot.
138
Hairspray.
139
Arborists are treemend ous.
140
Don't become an archaeologist your career will be in ruins.
141
Reigning cats and dogs.
142
Sweet dreams.
143
I'll ketchup.
144
You mustard the strength to finish.
145
Arch enemies.
146
Boo school spirit.
147
My friend handcrafts door for a living. he really know how to make an entrance.
148
A backwards poet writes inverse.
149
Our base in under a tack.
150
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
151
Peter was told he had type a blood. but it must have been a type o.
152
I didn't like my new beard at first. but then it grew on me.
153
Cereal killer.
154
Like the game? Lettuce know by reviewing.
155
Some people say that our jokes are average. that's just mean.
156
Peter lost his job and found himself in quite the pickle.
157
Rubber duck e.
158
K leenexbox.
159
Fancy a cup of tee.
160
My car just got toad.
161
Deviled egg.
162
Zeebra.
163
Hot dog.
164
The rolling stones.
165
You know what? I'm grater than you.
166
You're my butter half.
167
Donutello.
168
I'm sexy and I gnome it.
169
Chick magn et.
170
Fish tank.
171
French toast.
172
I find this fruit very appealing.
173
Power plant.
174
Card shark.
175
Lettuce take the train I avocado.
176
Engine earring.
177
Eyepod.
178
Doctor.
179
I'm telling you it's all a big conspiracy ahhh you guys are both nuts.
180
Catfish.
181
May all your swishes come true.
182
You can count on me.
183
Drop the beet.
184
Mirror mirror who's the funniest of them all? Why ra punzel.
185
Pie rat.
186
Road runner.
187
Brain wash.
188
It was all white, have an ice day honey? There's snow place like home.
189
Spring is right around the corner.
190
Cantaloupe.
191
Ice skating.
192
Watch dog.
193
Rain bow.
194
Makeup artist.
195
Think thank.
196
Roller coaster.
197
I love you from my head tomatoes.
198
Rock star.
199
Alexander the grape.
200
Hole milk.
201
I have a knot in my stomach.
202
I scream cone.
203
Under the weather.
204
Loafers.
205
Duck tape.
206
Capital punishment.
207
Tap dancing.
208
These puns are getting pretty tearable aren't they?
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