| Achievement | How to unlock
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| - Defeat 7 enemies with a single charge attack. Then boast about this event to your friends, incessantly (we can track this).
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| - Earn all stars in the Hapsgaff chapters. This includes both Story Mode and Master Mode. You will earn a tiny hat.
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| - Have any targeted damage spell critical. Enjoy the fireworks display! Unless it's Acid Cloud, which is a little underwhelming.
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| - Earn 15 stars by beating levels, ideally without falling down and with all enemies defeated. Earn more stars to unlock pets!
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| - Someone used to live here in the tower with Whitebeard. Whoever it was is long gone, now.
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| - Get all possible stars in every chapter, in both Story Mode and Master Mode. This does not include secret stars. If they exist.
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| - Earn all stars in the Tetramont chapters, both in Story Mode and Master Mode. Make all those animate objects inanimate.
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| - Earn all stars in the Arosh chapters, both in Story Mode and Master Mode. Can you flawlessly defeat various boars?
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| - Bash 100 zombies with the Wooden Staff, in a completely pointless and tedious display. Or use the Crystal Staff, if you can find it.
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| - Destroy a floating eye before it becomes aware of you. A completely overkill spell attack should do it.
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| - No indoor roughhousing! Get through the second Tetramont Estate level without destroying any furniture.
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| - Get through the first Garden level without harming a single plant. Temporarily stifle your impulse to smash everything.
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| - Destroy 50 giant vegetables. Eating gigantic, magically grown vegetables seems like a pretty bad idea, anyway.
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| - Crush an enemy by luring it into a Rook's path. Named after the chess move where you throw the pieces and board at your opponent.
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| - Did the boards paint this? That guy kind of looks like Arosh.
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| - Shoot 4 targeted attack spells in 4 seconds. Ideally do this to a massive, dangerous boss monster, instead of obliterating a barrel.
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| - Deal with Hurgoth's minions! Fling spells everywhere! Earn 10 Combat Achievements for this milestone.
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| - Blow up the opposition in interesting ways, on your journey towards earning 20 different Combat Achievements.
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| - Get all 30 Combat Achievements. For this one you'll have to do all the weird achievements that are remaining.
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| - Make your own combo! Special attack charge into an enemy within a second after slashing it.
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| - Urrrg I want a new spell, but the spell urn is so far away. Better just break it with another spell, that way you don't have to move.
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| - Defeat a Drudge Lightning Shaman with a lightning blast, at the same time it is also shooting a lightning spell.
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| - Defeat a single, low level enemy with an expensive targeted attack spell. Have your servants feed you peeled grapes.
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| - Take down a Red Demon with sword attacks, only, no damaging spells. You don't need such tricks for a single opponent, anyway!
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| - Cultists pray to their dark evil masters here, for guidance and lashings.
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| - Read 3 journal entries or books in Story Mode. We expect you to do this by accident, as you attempt to destroy paper products.
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| - Show respect for the dead in the third Crypt level by not destroying any coffins. Go ahead and still smash bone piles for no reason.
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| - I hate signs! They're so bossy! Destroy 20 of them.
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| - Cast 2 frost shard spells within 2 seconds of each other, in opposite directions. There's little tactical reason for this, you big show-off.
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| - Environment Achievements generally involve smashing inanimate objects. Get 7 of them for this first milestone.
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| - Get 14 Environment Achievements to prove you share my sentiments in regards to hating inanimate objects.
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| - I want you... to smash... EVERYTHING. Get all 21 Environment Achievements!
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| - Hit an already spontaneously combustible orc tent with a fireball spell. Just to show that you mean business.
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| - Discover a single Exploration Achievement. Keep your eye out for secrets!
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| - These specimens look expired and lifeless. What was being created here?
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| - Get 7 General Achievements, which include milestones and other completionist achievements. They tend to also reward hats.
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| - Get 14 General Achievements. The previous General Milestone counts in this, so that's one less achievement to worry about!
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| - Get 21 General Achievements, then get this 22nd General Achievement for free! What a great deal!
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| - A curious contraption. It must be what Lady Tetramont uses to animate her golems.
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| - Defeat 1000 enemies. Seems like a nice, round, arbitrary number.
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| - On the next episode of Hat hoarders: We reveal that you have a serious hat hoarding problem. Acquire every single monster hat.
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| - This titanic magical machine appears to pump a strange red fluid throughout the laboratories in the bunker.
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| - Tell the orcs that it's a private forest, no camping. Destroy 15 of their tents.
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| - Orc tents combust on the slightest touch. Frankly they seem like a horrible form of shelter.
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| - Knock a Fragile Wailer down with a special attack charge. Better keep attacking when it gets back on its feet.
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| - Beat Story Mode. Find the missing wizards. Save the day. Then try Master Mode for a real challenge!
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| - Smash 10 beds to show that you don't rest until the job is done.
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| - Rest in PIECES. Destroy 50 bone piles.
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| - Whitebeard must have quite an appetite! Too bad the drudges keep nibbling on all the vegetables.
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| - Knock down an enemy with your special attack when it attempts to bull charge you. Make sure they're small enough to knock down.
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| - Collect the same spell 3 times in a row. I don't want to tell you how to do your job or anything but trinkets might help with this.
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| - Triumph over Master Mode. This might be pretty difficult. Never give up!
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| - Get through a level with at least 40 monsters, while not smashing a single urn. Just run right past all health, magic and haste urns.
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| - When three enemy spells are in flight, cast a spell of your own to nullify all of them at once. A textbook battlemage tactic!
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| - So buff! Get a buff spell to double duration, either by stacking a buff spell twice, or simply destroying a health urn when already at maximum health.
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| - Destroy 10 green slimes with acid bursts. You don't have to get all 10 with the same spell, but that would be the most stylish way to do it.
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| - Defeat 5 midbosses, the bigger and burlier opponents you face, with a single lightning spell.
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| - Hey look! I'm a master gardener! (Waving sword around, destroying flowers on 50 separate occasions).
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| - The cultist leader, Harbringer, seems to have put a stop to the enigmatic banished mage's note trail. At least you got some treasure.
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| - Destroy 50 inactive Golems or Faceless tanks, preventing the hassle of fighting them later.
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| - You were probably going to cut down 100 bushes anyway, due to your hatred of plants.
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| - Complete a level with at least 20 monsters, without harming any of them. Run, don't fight!
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| - Lure 3 enemies into being defeated by their allies spells. Take your time, no need to kill all 3 with the same friendly fire spell.
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| - Hit a stunned enemy just as it's jumping to its feet. This doesn't do any bonus damage, but it appeals to my sense of humor.
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| - Fire a targeted attack spell within two seconds of collecting it. You're really quite impatient.
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| - Get 5 melee critical hits in a row! You might need a Luck spell or some special gear!
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| - Those books are probably priceless, but maybe slashing them will make your sword smarter. Destroy 10 bookstacks and find out!
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| - Destroy two or more spell urns with a single spell. It's just a good business decision, really.
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| - Defeat 8 boars with a single fireball. Then run across the entire map to tell Arosh, who will give you yet another boar killing quest.
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| - Lady Tetramont appears to be dumping her failed creations in the tunnels here.
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| - Discover all 13 Exploration Achievements. 12 of these are in Story Mode, and the last one is found in Master Mode.
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| - Read all journal entries and books in Story Mode! Don't worry about Master Mode, for now.
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| - Mushrooms are extremely dangerous when fully grown. Better destroy 100 of them.
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| - This gigantic dark iron anvil radiates a foul energy.
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| - Hapsgaff's experiments with the local slimes look quite strange, indeed.
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| - Have all three sprite allies at the same time. Summon a Sprite, summon an Inferno, and have the mini-Sprite pet equipped.
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| - Fight with things in your favor. Have 3 different buff spells on you at the same time.
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| - Defeat the Fel Boar and its minions using only your sword, no targeted spells. Just let those spells stack up to get overflow shield buffs.
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| - Destroy 30 coffins, undoubtedly halting the vampire menace.
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- There's Gotta Be Something In Them
| - The 20th barrel you destroy has a 0.000001% chance to contain an incredible prize.
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| - Fail to hit an orc assassin that's dashing past you, twice.
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| - Prove that you're the top dog, and all the others are just yappin' dogs. Collect every boss hat. This may require several boss defeats.
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| - A massive, faded portrait of a female mage. Wonder where she is now?
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| - The warchief is a big orc. Big orcs need a big tent!
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| - Defeat an enemy who has at least 30 health in a single sword swing. You might need a bigger sword to do this!
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- You Dare Bring Light Into My Lair
| - All these torches are a fire hazard. Better smash apart 30 of them.
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