| Achievement | How to unlock
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| - Follow the narrators orders up to the bosses office. When at the number pad at the wall, press "8888" twice in a row.
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| - Complete The Stanley Parable.
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- Click on door 430 five times.
| - Click on door 430 five times.
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| - Play The Stanley Parable for the entire duration of a Tuesday.
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| - Don't play The Stanley Parable for five years.
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| - Complete The Stanley Parable in under 4 minutes 22 seconds.
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| - It is impossible to get this achievement.
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| - Quit the game and then start it again.
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| - No seriously, we disabled it.
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