| Achievement | How to unlock
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- ...And All I Got was this Lousy T-Shirt
| - Unlock all of the game's ending sequences.
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| - Activate all six Pylons in Zone 1 or Zone 2 in binary numerical sequence.
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| - Complete the game in less than one hour.
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| - Finish the game with the Deactivator Instrument.
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| - Go back and repeat the same sequence through Zone 3 after reaching the Pylon platform.
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| - Finish the game with the Scrambler Instrument.
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| - Destroy yourself as CHIP commands.
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| - Get spotted by at least 50 enemies without being destroyed.
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- HOW DO I REACH THESE KIDS?!
| - Take more than 30 minutes to complete the Tutorial area.
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| - Jump into the Reactor's Unguarded Pit of Death.
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- Hideo Kojima is Not Impressed
| - Complete the game without being seen.
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- I Have Reached these Kids!
| - Complete the Tutorial after unlocking the achievement "HOW DO I REACH THESE KIDS?!".
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| - Finish the game with the Initiator Instrument.
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| - Finish the game with the Freezer Instrument.
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| - Activate all six Pylons in Zone 1 or Zone 2, and activate the Distribution Pylon to listen to the full track.
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| - Pay a visit to the poor, neglected TERRY in Zone 1, just to give him some excitement for once.
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| - Complete the game using one Ping, only.
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| - Finish the game with the Velocity Instrument.
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| - Finish the game with the Elasticity Instrument.
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| - Freeze 15 or more enemies at a time.
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