| Achievement | How to unlock
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| - Get a kill with a bolt action, pump and lever action gun in one match.
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| - Unlock all original 70 weapons.
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| - Get your head blown off while voluntarily barfing.
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- Cash Rules Everything Around Me
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| - Win a game of Deathmatch or Weapons Deal.
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| - Kill an enemy with a pineapple.
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| - Destroy the evil magician once and for all.
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| - Take damage from a molotov and a nitrogen charge. While tased.
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| - Nobody likes helicopters.
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| - Kill an enemy while you are both in the air.
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- Just Blew in from Stupid Town
| - Blow yourself up with a vest in Team Deathmatch.
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| - The only achievement you'll ever need.
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| |
| |
| - Successfully host your own game.
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| - Kill an enemy who is typing.
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- Put Him Out of His Misery
| - There's just one message in the PDA - 'Kill Spasman.'
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| - Get banned from a server.
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- The Ground is Entirely Fogged Out
| - Reach an incredibly high altitude.
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| |
| - Tase an enemy then kill them with a sword.
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| - Kill an enemy with a hadouken.
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