| Achievement | How to unlock
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| - AFK'd for 5 minutes! Back to work slacker!
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| - Beat the best time in one level!
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| - Noticed your friend's disappearance!
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| - Played the game seven days in a row!
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| - Collected your first orb!
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| - Blew up your first turret!
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| - Completed a level with a box!
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- Sir, you have been caught
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| - Completed the game in less than an hour and a half!
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| - Completed a level without dying!
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| - Completed the game on Purist!
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| - Completed the game without dying!
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