| Achievement | How to unlock
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| - Perform your first double jump.
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| - Beat 40 levels in hardcore mode.
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| - Collect the first bad memory.
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| - Beat 5 levels without dying.
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| - Beat 20 levels in hardcore mode.
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| - Beat all levels without dying.
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| - Beat your best time 20 times.
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| - Get all other achievements.
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| - Get 75% of all achievements.
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| - Get 50% of all achievements.
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| - Start a level in hardcore mode.
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- I'M NOT LAZY I'M THINKING
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| - Collect all bad memories.
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| - Beat your best time 10 times.
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| - Die 5 times in the same level.
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| - Beat 5 levels in hardcore mode.
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| - Defeat the slaughterhouse boss.
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| - Watch the credits cutscene to the end.
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| - Beat level 24 in less than 29 seconds.
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| - Beat 20 levels without dying.
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| - Beat 40 levels without dying.
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| - Complete all levels in all game modes.
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| - Enter the first slaughterhouse level.
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| - Die 10 times in the same level.
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