Achievement | How to unlock
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- (Love Is) Thicker Than Water
| - Unlocked the Inflatiboat For Cars.
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| - In "Limocide", take out 50 pedestrians.
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| - In "The Great Hunt", find 6 regions.
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| - Aggressively warn a dozen pedestrians with the Trafffic Coner.
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| - Get a better eSports Speedrun Time than the No Goblin team.
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| - Unlocked the Multiplier Freezer.
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| - In "Destruction Derby", take out 8 cars.
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- Feels Like the First Time
| - Purchase something from The Chrome Dome.
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| - Reach 100% completion on a mission.
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| - In "Death from Above", survive for 30 seconds.
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| - Collect every Cash Stash.
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| - Accomplish every Sick Jump.
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| - Survive the Mountain Fair Demolition Derby without exploding.
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- I've Covered Wars, You Know
| - Revolve over 53,596 times.
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| - Stand still for a minute of silence at The Memorial.
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| - Unlocked the Traffic Coner.
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| - Discover all of the horns.
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| - Unlocked the Beary Nice Music Box.
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| - In "Farming Simulator 1977", complete your farming in under 40 seconds.
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| - Purchase every hat and paint job.
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| - Unlocked the Pickup Finder.
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| - Unlocked the Reverser Wheel.
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| - Drive the entire "classic" length of Desert Limo without crashing.
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| - Collect every star in a single ride.
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| - Collect every star in every ride.
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- Straight to the Pool Room
| - In "Ball Bouncers", bounce the ball at least 12 times.
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| - In "Run Like Crazy", get 150 yards away.
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- That's Where The Happy People Go
| - View the "How's Your Driving" screen outside of the DMV ride.
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| - Honk your horn 500 times, then honk your horn 500 more.
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| - Complete your first eSports Speedrun Challenge.
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| - Reach 100% completion for the entire game.
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| - Complete an eSports Speedrun without exploding.
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| - Follow a lady into the big smoke.
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