| Achievement | How to unlock
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- Abraham Lincoln Cheeseburger Hunter
| - Kill 25 Sentient Cheeseburgers
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| - Kill 25 Fat Army Privates
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| - Complete all Hobo Colony levels
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| - Play a level as each character
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- Enlightened Peaceful Warrior
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| - Play as both Joan of Arc and Napoleon
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| - Play as every female character
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| - Kill 100 Zombie Hobo Warriors
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| - Kill a Giant Karate Klutz
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| - Play both Caesar and Cleopatra
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| - Kill 25 Zombie Alien Hybrids
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- Mulligan's Not So Merry Men
| - Kill 5 Zombie Hobo Warriors
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| - Play as each of the less reputable Heroes
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| - Kill 25 Fast Food Fatties
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- Reclaim Trashcalibre... Again
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| - Complete all Bunker levels
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| - Kill one of each specialty monster
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| - Kill A Sentient Cheeseburger
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- That The Best You Can Do?
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- The Princess Won't Approve
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- There's Aliens In This Game?
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| - Play as each melee character
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| - Complete every level in the game
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- You're Getting the Hang of It!
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- You're Strong. We Get It!
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