| Achievement | How to unlock
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| - Find an Oversized Papier-Maché Hamlet Head.
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| - You Just Wanted to Make Out Some More.
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| - Read the Book Within A Book.
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| - Break Three People's Necks.
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- Fire Burn and Cauldron Bubble
| - Discover a Delicious Recipe for Stew.
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| - Lose a Rap Battle Against a Gravedigger.
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| - Meet Yourself Through Time Travel.
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| - Find a Flaw in Hamlet's Book.
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| - Observe a Sandwich Overdose.
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| - Control Reality Using Ophelia's Thoughts.
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| - Train Your Skills Using the Power of Montage.
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| - Experience the Most Awkward Hug Ever.
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- Nobody Will Miss Polonius
| - Murder That Guy Polonius for No Real Reason.
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| - Inhabit the Author's Consciousness.
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| - Choose To Play As King Hamlet, Sr.
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| - Beat Queen Gertrude at Chess.
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| - Get an ENTIRE Court to Read an Incriminating Letter.
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| - Score a Point Through Your Pedantry.
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| - Push Two People in a Row Down Stairs.
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| - Attempt to Puppeteer the Fate of Others.
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| - Invent Second Person Pronoun-Paradoxial Auto-Dramatic Irony.
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| - Choose To Play As Hamlet.
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| - Choose To Play As Ophelia.
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| - Be the Worst Possible Chess Player.
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| - Kill Hamlet by Muscle Memory.
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| - Explore a Sunken Ship as a Ghost.
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- When Exactly Were You Practicing?
| - Blatantly Lie About Your Fencing Skills.
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- Yo Hamlet, Smell Ya Later!
| - Describe Hamlet's Situation in Rhyming Verse.
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